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[ss_buttcrack]

Yo! This is John Crichton. Leave a message after the beep! [Beep]

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Re: Text, Pre-Excursion February

[ss_buttcrack]

[He reads that. Then he reads it again. A third time. Nope. Still not a damn clue. ]

What the hell are you talking about?

Re: Text, Pre-Excursion February

[crushed_pearls]

I have the full run of the original He-man.

[ss_buttcrack]

You could have just said that! Hell, yeah. I loved He-Man but what the hell are you talking about with

[That text very abruptly ends because--Oh no. Oh. No. He just realized that this might be a very different watching experience now that he's uh... in touch with his He-Man-loving side. Erin, no. You can't do this to him.]

On second thought. I might be busy for a while.

[crushed_pearls]

Too busy to hear Fisto lament that he fisted as hard as he could but he could not fist them all?

[ss_buttcrack]

Is nothing sacred to you!?

[crushed_pearls]

I also have Thundercats and the Smurfs.

[ss_buttcrack]

Where do you keep getting those from?

[He's stalling for time. Not that he will admit it.]

[crushed_pearls]

Friday gives them to me for the express purpose of cajoling you into marathons.

[ss_buttcrack]

If I didn't know any better I'd think you were determined to turn me into a couch potato. Hey, if she's taking requests tell her to get Buffy The Vampire Slayer next. I never got to see how that ended.

[crushed_pearls]

Not too badly but the spinoff with Angel was better and then the creator did a series about sucking the ghostly cock of the Confederacy in space.

[ss_buttcrack]

You're doing this on purpose now, aren't you?

[crushed_pearls]

I mean I could have brought up the Willow spinoff but hand to God I have seen zero episodes of it. My strongest memory of Buffy is killing a demon with a rocket launcher.

[ss_buttcrack]

Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. I mostly liked all the witty one-liners.

[What a shock, right?]

[crushed_pearls]

So are you coming over to watch eighties bullshit or do I need to lure someone else into going to get the cheese from the new infinite cheese store since my bed is now optimally warm

[ss_buttcrack]

I'm coming. I'm coming. What kind of cheese? If you don't specify it's going to be cheddar.

[crushed_pearls]

There is infinite cheese and hours of material man get a snack spread and some booze. Door will be unlocked.

Also fair warning so you do not drop the cheese I have huge fucking wings now.

[ss_buttcrack]

Alright. In it for the long haul. I'll see what I can come up with.

[There's a pause and then:]

You have what? Tell me that was a typo.

[crushed_pearls]

Huge edgy black feathered wings that make walking through doors really annoying.

[ss_buttcrack]

Great, am I going to have to hide the shiny things from you now?

All right, I'll make sure to grab some bird seed too. See you soon.

[crushed_pearls]

Do not test me you fucker of mothers I will eat bird seed and like it.

[ss_buttcrack]

You want it with or without salt and butter?

[crushed_pearls]

If given a choice about food without social consequences I will always choose the path that reduces my extended life span due to heart failure.

[ss_buttcrack]

Hot 'n buttered. You got it.

[crushed_pearls]

Glory be. I will show mercy and put on Thundercats the menu should be up by the time you arrive.

And it will be.