Oh, believe me, reaching a consensus between all of us on Moya was like pulling teeth. Everyone had their own ideas about what to do, based on what they knew and where they came from.
[Sound familiar?]
That's the point I'm really trying to make here. It's hard. It's not impossible. And I think there are a few things most of us are capable of reaching a consensus on even if we can't agree completely. A shared goal isn't out of the question.
[It still pains him that she thinks those who are saying they can't return are trying to deliberately demoralize her. That's something she's going to just have to take some time to come to terms with. Pushing obviously isn't the answer.]
I'm not sure I see it exactly that same way. Maybe some are doing that. Most, I think, really believe it and think they are helping you by saying so. I try not to look at it from a malicious point of view. And, if it came down to it, if we found a way to get off this ship, I don't really think those people would stop us. Caution us, maybe. But not force us to stay.
[Pulling teeth? Like a disturbing form of torture, then. Ari frowns, but keeps listening.]
I don't think it's all that whether the intent is malicious or not. You- [a brief hesitation, but Ari's been honest with him before, there's no reason to stop now.] You know how difficult this has been for me. How I've had to try hard to find reasons to keep going. If anything it's easier if they're malicious about it. There's always the potential to find common ground with an enemy someday, reach some understanding. Someone trying to destroy your reason for survival because they think they're helping you? That's worse.
See, I don't think ship-wide consensus is possible on anything here, but I think maybe what you and I have is. We can't agree even about this, but there's no hostility between us. We can respect one another's perspectives, keep peaceable contract. Friendship despite the disagreements. There's value in that, right?
Yeah. I know. I'm sorry I was contributing to it. But, I'd be careful about thinking it's that much easier to find common ground with an enemy. Before coming here, I was living on the same ship as mine. That didn't do much to improve our relationship.
[Understatement of the year right there.]
But, yes, of course, there's value in that. There's value in respecting that we are all people with a right to our own convictions. If we can all agree that we deserve to make it out of this alive, first of all, that would be a good step.
You, contributing? [Ari's eyes widen in surprise, and she leans forward.] Commander, I wasn't thinking of you when I said that. You've been supportive. You came after me when you thought my plan hadn't worked, out into that cold. Not many people would do that. And you never told me it was wrong to try to escape. Critique of my- [with a little self-deprecating smile] -particular course of action is different. Even well before that, you... well, I can't say what would have happened if Oda hadn't trampled over my boundaries the way he did when I was in my cabin, but you were the one who made me realise I had to find a way to cope with this. I had to be at least that strong.
[She really wouldn't be saying that she trusted him and thought of him like a shipmate if he'd been one of the people trying to tear her down and crush her hopes. But there's no point in revisiting old troubles.]
You had an enemy with you on Moya? What happened? Couldn't you get rid of them? You're right, if they're a true enemy then finding common ground would be incredibly difficult. Very low probability. Just not impossible, that's all I meant. [An enemy attacking you was to be expected, but a friend doing it would cause more damage.]
[Boy, he can just feel the guilt twisting in him. If she only knew he was still holding out on her, that as much as he says he hopes for her to get home he doesn't believe it can happen. If she could read his mind... well, he'd have a lot bigger problems at that point.]
I want you to know I'll always be here to support you and talk you through things if and when you need it. You can count on me.
[That he can promise. That, he will always promise. He'll have her back.]
His name is Scorpius. I've got something he wants and he's willing to go to any length to get it from me. He saw his chance when he found my previous girlfriend, Aeryn, dying from heat delirium. He stabilized her with special cooling technology he uses in his own suit. She had to... wear his suit to keep her from overheating.
[It still makes him queasy to remember how she looked with that mask on. Like his worst nightmares come to life.]
She made me promise not to kill him. He moved in and... there was nothing I could do about it. If I kicked him out, she'd die. If I killed him, she'd die. I was living with an evil genius just biding his damn time to get at me. Guess I have some experience living with my tormentor already, too.
Thank you. [Always is a big statement, and she feels slightly overwhelmed, as she usually does when conversations veer in this direction, but it still means a lot to her.] The same to you. Maybe I'm not always the best at talking, but I'm here if you need me. If there's ever something I can assist with. [Ari's much better with practical help, but that doesn't mean she can't try.]
[Hearing about Scorpius, she looks to him with sympathy and concern. How awful must it have been! Trapped on his own ship with an enemy. Ari regrets her remark about common ground now; it was thoughtless.]
I'm sorry. Truly, I don't know how you tolerated it. I'd say any promise she made to him when the only alternative for her was death shouldn't be binding, but if it were as simple as killing him and keeping his suit, I suspect you'd have done it. It sounds like an impossible situation.
If there's anything you can help me with, I'll ask. Cross my heart.
[He shakes his head sadly.]
It's okay. That's not something you could have known. The problem with Scorpius is that he's smart. He had all the angles covered at all times. His suit was proprietary technology. Only he knew how to replicate it and he had our comms systems bugged so he could listen in at all times. I didn't tolerate it so much as... survive it.
Nobunaga already promised me if Scorpius ever shows up here he'll do whatever it takes to keep the bastard away from me but... just so you know if you ever meet a guy with sickly white skin, shark teeth, and a full-body leather suit that looks like it's made of black scales, specifically with a mask that bisects his face, get the hell away from him and under no circumstances should you tell him you know me. Play dumb. He can and will use you to get to me.
If I ever see him, I'll stay well clear, and I'll notify you immediately. [No hesitation, no argument - it seems that important. Scorpius sounds very distinctive, easy to identify, and he also sounds like exactly the sort of person that, absent warning, Ari might have tried to befriend, worrying that others would find his appearance offputting.]
That said, I'm also with Oda. If he shows his face here, we'll keep you safe. It sounds like he's already put you through more than enough. [She is contractually obliged to protect Crichton, but it's more than that now. He's a friend, and she's not going to let some shark-man hurt him.]
Do you think it's something we could help with here? Finding another solution for your Aeryn's illness? If it's a matter of keeping cool, there must be some technology we could devise.
[It's such an unbelievable relief to hear her say that she'll do the sensible thing.]
She's cured already. We found a way but... she still made me promise. I wanted to space him as soon as we were sure she wouldn't die, but she said she'd leave again if I did. I couldn't let her leave twice because she... she's pregnant with my child.
[She trusts that he knows far more about Scorpius than she does, and while she'd never step away and let him deal with the problem alone if it ever arose, she's certainly going to follow his advice on how to deal with it.
His next words make her eyes widen in surprise.]
I'd have wanted him straight out the airlock, too. She must have had her reasons - but I'm so sorry that you were separated from her, at a time like that, after you went to all that trouble to stay together. It's truly unfair. [Ari might not plan on ever having a child or even a proper relationship of her own, but that doesn't mean she can't understand what they mean to others.]
Fair? Yeah... I stopped believing in that a long time ago.
[Fate doesn't give a shit about what the rest of them think is fair.]
The worst part is not knowing. I'm scared I'll never find out how it all turned out. This is... the second time I've had to sit and wonder. Sometimes it all feel like one big cruel joke. Just when I think I can't fall and further, there's always something.
[Ari looks at him, sympathetic, and reaches over to touch his arm.]
No, you still know what fair is, otherwise it wouldn't hurt so much. You've just been treated unfairly far too often, it seems like. I think... you're doing all the right things. You have to have hope that it'll get better. That you'll get back to her.
Yeah. I guess you're right. Hope is... all that keeps me going some days. I'm doing my best to hang onto it, but the longer I'm here the more I feel it slipping. I'm just... tired. So tired of all this crap.
[The sympathy is fast becoming worry, because Ari understands that feeling very well, and she knows how dangerous it can be.]
All the things you've suffered before didn't defeat you. This won't either. [She sounds confident. More confident than she feels, right now.] I know that, because I know what sort of man you are. You won't just hold on when you slip to the end of the rope, you'll pull yourself back in again. You won't give in to despair. Your friends won't let you, either, because we know you deserve better than that. We are all going to endure this, and we are all going to get home. [She certainly sounds as if she believes it.]
If you're tired, we'll hold you up for a while, alright? [Another small, hopeful smile. What he really needs is something concrete to fix that hope to. Ari can't give him that, not yet. She can give him distractions.] Didn't I promise I'd show you For the Company? We can watch the first episode, if you want. And you can see what the writers think of Company culture. I promise I won't point out everything that's wrong!
You're going to love the holographic technology, if you haven't seen it before.
[Ari gives him a warm smile. Oda had told her that he wouldn't let her give up, but now she's starting to see the broader interconnections. Crichton may not be officially part of the 'army', but he's close enough to count. They all have to look after one another.
So she opens up her slate computer and starts setting up the first episode. It'll be a welcome distraction for them both.]
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no subject
Date: 2023-01-19 09:03 pm (UTC)[Sound familiar?]
That's the point I'm really trying to make here. It's hard. It's not impossible. And I think there are a few things most of us are capable of reaching a consensus on even if we can't agree completely. A shared goal isn't out of the question.
[It still pains him that she thinks those who are saying they can't return are trying to deliberately demoralize her. That's something she's going to just have to take some time to come to terms with. Pushing obviously isn't the answer.]
I'm not sure I see it exactly that same way. Maybe some are doing that. Most, I think, really believe it and think they are helping you by saying so. I try not to look at it from a malicious point of view. And, if it came down to it, if we found a way to get off this ship, I don't really think those people would stop us. Caution us, maybe. But not force us to stay.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-19 09:37 pm (UTC)I don't think it's all that whether the intent is malicious or not. You- [a brief hesitation, but Ari's been honest with him before, there's no reason to stop now.] You know how difficult this has been for me. How I've had to try hard to find reasons to keep going. If anything it's easier if they're malicious about it. There's always the potential to find common ground with an enemy someday, reach some understanding. Someone trying to destroy your reason for survival because they think they're helping you? That's worse.
See, I don't think ship-wide consensus is possible on anything here, but I think maybe what you and I have is. We can't agree even about this, but there's no hostility between us. We can respect one another's perspectives, keep peaceable contract. Friendship despite the disagreements. There's value in that, right?
no subject
Date: 2023-01-23 01:12 am (UTC)[Understatement of the year right there.]
But, yes, of course, there's value in that. There's value in respecting that we are all people with a right to our own convictions. If we can all agree that we deserve to make it out of this alive, first of all, that would be a good step.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-23 12:11 pm (UTC)[She really wouldn't be saying that she trusted him and thought of him like a shipmate if he'd been one of the people trying to tear her down and crush her hopes. But there's no point in revisiting old troubles.]
You had an enemy with you on Moya? What happened? Couldn't you get rid of them? You're right, if they're a true enemy then finding common ground would be incredibly difficult. Very low probability. Just not impossible, that's all I meant. [An enemy attacking you was to be expected, but a friend doing it would cause more damage.]
no subject
Date: 2023-01-25 08:39 pm (UTC)I want you to know I'll always be here to support you and talk you through things if and when you need it. You can count on me.
[That he can promise. That, he will always promise. He'll have her back.]
His name is Scorpius. I've got something he wants and he's willing to go to any length to get it from me. He saw his chance when he found my previous girlfriend, Aeryn, dying from heat delirium. He stabilized her with special cooling technology he uses in his own suit. She had to... wear his suit to keep her from overheating.
[It still makes him queasy to remember how she looked with that mask on. Like his worst nightmares come to life.]
She made me promise not to kill him. He moved in and... there was nothing I could do about it. If I kicked him out, she'd die. If I killed him, she'd die. I was living with an evil genius just biding his damn time to get at me. Guess I have some experience living with my tormentor already, too.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-26 05:48 pm (UTC)[Hearing about Scorpius, she looks to him with sympathy and concern. How awful must it have been! Trapped on his own ship with an enemy. Ari regrets her remark about common ground now; it was thoughtless.]
I'm sorry. Truly, I don't know how you tolerated it. I'd say any promise she made to him when the only alternative for her was death shouldn't be binding, but if it were as simple as killing him and keeping his suit, I suspect you'd have done it. It sounds like an impossible situation.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-30 03:30 am (UTC)[He shakes his head sadly.]
It's okay. That's not something you could have known. The problem with Scorpius is that he's smart. He had all the angles covered at all times. His suit was proprietary technology. Only he knew how to replicate it and he had our comms systems bugged so he could listen in at all times. I didn't tolerate it so much as... survive it.
Nobunaga already promised me if Scorpius ever shows up here he'll do whatever it takes to keep the bastard away from me but... just so you know if you ever meet a guy with sickly white skin, shark teeth, and a full-body leather suit that looks like it's made of black scales, specifically with a mask that bisects his face, get the hell away from him and under no circumstances should you tell him you know me. Play dumb. He can and will use you to get to me.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-30 05:08 pm (UTC)That said, I'm also with Oda. If he shows his face here, we'll keep you safe. It sounds like he's already put you through more than enough. [She is contractually obliged to protect Crichton, but it's more than that now. He's a friend, and she's not going to let some shark-man hurt him.]
Do you think it's something we could help with here? Finding another solution for your Aeryn's illness? If it's a matter of keeping cool, there must be some technology we could devise.
cw: pregnancy
Date: 2023-02-01 04:54 am (UTC)[It's such an unbelievable relief to hear her say that she'll do the sensible thing.]
She's cured already. We found a way but... she still made me promise. I wanted to space him as soon as we were sure she wouldn't die, but she said she'd leave again if I did. I couldn't let her leave twice because she... she's pregnant with my child.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-01 08:55 pm (UTC)His next words make her eyes widen in surprise.]
I'd have wanted him straight out the airlock, too. She must have had her reasons - but I'm so sorry that you were separated from her, at a time like that, after you went to all that trouble to stay together. It's truly unfair. [Ari might not plan on ever having a child or even a proper relationship of her own, but that doesn't mean she can't understand what they mean to others.]
no subject
Date: 2023-02-03 08:49 pm (UTC)[Fate doesn't give a shit about what the rest of them think is fair.]
The worst part is not knowing. I'm scared I'll never find out how it all turned out. This is... the second time I've had to sit and wonder. Sometimes it all feel like one big cruel joke. Just when I think I can't fall and further, there's always something.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-05 06:03 pm (UTC)No, you still know what fair is, otherwise it wouldn't hurt so much. You've just been treated unfairly far too often, it seems like. I think... you're doing all the right things. You have to have hope that it'll get better. That you'll get back to her.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-07 04:12 am (UTC)Yeah. I guess you're right. Hope is... all that keeps me going some days. I'm doing my best to hang onto it, but the longer I'm here the more I feel it slipping. I'm just... tired. So tired of all this crap.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-08 12:36 pm (UTC)All the things you've suffered before didn't defeat you. This won't either. [She sounds confident. More confident than she feels, right now.] I know that, because I know what sort of man you are. You won't just hold on when you slip to the end of the rope, you'll pull yourself back in again. You won't give in to despair. Your friends won't let you, either, because we know you deserve better than that. We are all going to endure this, and we are all going to get home. [She certainly sounds as if she believes it.]
If you're tired, we'll hold you up for a while, alright? [Another small, hopeful smile. What he really needs is something concrete to fix that hope to. Ari can't give him that, not yet. She can give him distractions.] Didn't I promise I'd show you For the Company? We can watch the first episode, if you want. And you can see what the writers think of Company culture. I promise I won't point out everything that's wrong!
good ending?
Date: 2023-02-10 03:16 am (UTC)Thank you. I needed to hear that. You're right. I haven't gone through hell and back just to give up here.
[He's got so much left to do. But... maybe he can take some of his own advice for once and take a rest first.]
I'd like that. Yeah. Let's watch some.
excellent! <3
Date: 2023-02-10 05:32 pm (UTC)[Ari gives him a warm smile. Oda had told her that he wouldn't let her give up, but now she's starting to see the broader interconnections. Crichton may not be officially part of the 'army', but he's close enough to count. They all have to look after one another.
So she opens up her slate computer and starts setting up the first episode. It'll be a welcome distraction for them both.]